Feelings

I don't know what I'm feeling right now but it's pretty strong. I think it's happiness or something close to it. It's not that I've been sad for a long while; it's just that I haven't really been feeling anything. I wasn't sad nor happy, just neutral. But now I'm feeling this weird emotion and I don't even know where it's coming from. Nothing significant has happened to me lately except for moving from a big house to a pretty shitty apartment but I don't mind that at all. Although the fact that I just called it shitty contradicted that. Anyway, it's nothing to feel happy about. I'm just really confused so I'm going to let it go and possibly try to get some sleep. Night peeps.

Life

You should never have to think about what other people say or think about you. It's not like you're the president or something. You're never going to see these people from school after graduation. So why should something that they think matter? It's all bullshit anyway. "You shouldn't wear the same outfit all the time." Why? What if some people can't afford new clothes? If you want to wear the same outfit every week then do it! Dress to only impress yourself and not others. If you like wearing bell bottom jeans and the trend is skinny jeans, then wear the damn bell bottoms. Another thing that's stupid is wearing brand name clothing. If you like the piece of clothing, then get it wether it is brand name or not. It also shouldn't determine if you're "cool" or not. I mean someone who doesn't have any money to buy those kinds of clothing could still be an awesome person. However, these things will never change in society so you shouldn't get upset over them. 20 years from now you're going to be thinking about how stupid you were to actually believe that these things were important. Trust me when I say, focus on other things. Focus on school so you can show these dumb-asses in the future, that you're fucking amazing. Watch, you're going to be their boss one day. If school isn't your thing then do what you're talented at or what makes you happy. Overall, what I'm trying to say is be happy while you're still young.

Ugh

You know what I hate? When I tell a friend I'm on a diet and they tell me to stop and that I'm skinny. Okay first of all I'm doing it for the health reasons. Second I'm not in any way skinny, so don't lie it makes me feel much worse about myself. Instead of telling me to stop, how about you start supporting me?! You're suppose to be my friend and you're making everything much worse. Either do that or don't say anything at all.

You

your smile
your laugh
your eyes
your humor
your sweetness
your amazingness
your walk
your talk
your hair
your dimples
your voice
you

Motivation

You need motivation? How about every time you're about to quit, every time you think you've had enough and that it's not worth it, think about your goal. Think about why you're doing this in the first place. Think about how much better life would be if you achieved this goal. Think about all the things that you could do if you accomplished this objective. Think about what people would think of you after this. Think of the pros instead of the cons. Make a bracelet that will remind you of your aim. Get a tattoo or carry something that will motivate you to keep on trying. Anything that will help you to reach your intent.

I Just Need Some Saving

So yeah it's almost been a year now. I think I'm slipping back into that depressed mood I always used to be in. How much longer do I have to live with this? I'm done waiting, I just want it to be over already. I want to fast forward my life until college. People really don't get it. But that's okay. I just need for someone to listen. And this is how I vent. This feeling....it's like I've been in pain for almost a year now without it ever stopping. This pain....it's in my heart. Will it ever repair? Probably not. I am forever scarred. Will I ever forget? Probably not. I am forever scarred. Will I try to forget? Well I've been trying for almost a year now and it's not working out so well. I will not succumb to this pain. I will not give in. Even though I almost did tonight. It's gonna be hard, but I will go through it. People say it gets better for a lot of things, well this is something that will never get better. It is always here and will never go away. I just wanna make it all go away. I wanna rip my emotions out of my heart and burn it till it's gone. But sadly that's not possible, so I'm gonna get through this...I hope.

Hello

Okay so someone told me I need to write more of my story, but I just can't right now. First of all, I have no inspiration or motivation to write, and second of all, I've been way too busy with homework. So I'm very sorry about that. I'll try to write when I can.

How To Lose Weight

You know what makes me mad? When I see so many people that are starving them selves just to lose weight! Let me be the one to tell you that that does not work. If you put your body into starvation mode, it lowers your metabolism and makes losing weight a lot more difficult. It's funny cause I see these people doing that and not even losing a pound and here I am, down almost 10 pounds in like a month! If you're like me and hate exercise and love eating, it's really difficult to lose weight. I used to have a really big stomach capacity so I would be hungry ALL THE TIME!

So I tried to just exercise and eat whatever I wanted. It really didn't work out for me. So I tried going on a 1200 calorie diet. It was hard at first but I just kept drinking water to make myself feel full. After a while my stomach capacity shrunk and it was easier for me to eat less. What I would do was eat every 3 hours. So breakfast at 9am, lunch at 12pm, snack at 3pm, dinner at 6pm, and tea at 9pm. That was over the summer but now that school has started and I have to wake up earlier, the schedule went a little off but I'm working that out right now. In every meal I try not to exceed 300 calories and every snack I try not to exceed 100 calories. Now if you go over 1200 calories, that's totally fine! I went 700 calories over 1200 on my first try! But you eventually get it, trust me! And it's okay if every once in a while you have a high calorie meal or snack, you don't wanna make this a bad experience.

Now even though I am losing weight without having to do exercise, it doesn't mean that's necessarily a good thing. When I get skinny I don't wanna be like those people that are skinny but have squishy stomachs, I want a toned stomach and nice legs, so I am going to start doing exercise beside school P.E. I'm also going to join the Volleyball team next year.

Fist Day Of School

So high school...oh my god. It's morning and I'm almost late for the bus and then after I get on the bus it started going on a different direction than my school so I started freaking out because I thought I was on the wrong one but it turns out there was an accident so the bus driver took another route. So when I first walk in to the school, a bunch of guys checked me out...okay cool now leave me the fuck alone. I get my schedule and find out that I have no classes with anyone and even though I got to school early, I didn't have time to look for my classes, but the campus was really easy to figure out so yeah.
I go into my first class (Geometry) and found out that there is only a handful of Freshmen and the rest are Sophomores and Juniors and I only know one kid in the class. We go to the assembly, and I have to sit next to this hot sophomore kid and so yeah...he was hot. In The assembly, they wanted the Freshmen to stand up and do the battle cry but like no one did so it was really awkward. So after the assembly we went back to class and the teacher assigns us homework. Ugh!!!
So then my next class is Honors Biology. I have this really cool teacher that gives us the weirdest nicknames and I don't even remember mine. Plus the class was full of Freshmen so it was good.
My next class was Honors English, and the teacher seemed pretty nice and I knew a lot of people in the class and she gave us homework -.-
My next class was French and I was almost late because it was like at this weird part of the school. All she did was speak French in the begging but I understood a little bit. Then she talked in English and she said we were going to eat French food so yeah that's all I remember.
After that I had lunch under this big tree with some of my friends so it was nice. and then I had my 3D animation class which was pretty cool.
Then I had PE and we didn't do anything but talk. After school I go to the front and I didn't know which bus to take. So I see some kids form the morning, but they don't know which it is either, but we eventually found it and I found out that the hot guy is on my bus and he gets off at the same station as me and he lives close to me and I sound like a fucking stalker but that's alright. But it was super hot in the bus and walking home form the bus but yeah over all the day was good :) I thought I would hate it just like all the other years, but I didn't so yeah...bye?

Man Decapitates 7 Year Old Son Who Suffered From Cerebral Palsy

On Sunday, the police at Thibodaux, La were following up on a human head that was spotted on the road and they found a "garbage bag of body parts." They also found a man named Jeremiah Lee Wright who told them it was a CPR dummy. It wasn't, it was actually his seven-year-old son named Jori Lirette whom he'd "killed and decapitated over a kitchen sink." Jori suffered form cerebral palsy. Wright was "stoic, emotionless, non-confrontational" according to the police. He's been charged with first-degree murder and will probably face the death penalty.
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