Emotional

Everyone thinks that I'm tough and that I'm not afraid of anything, but that's not true. I guess that's the impression I set on people. I'm actually emotional and scared of a lot of things. I'm scared of the dark, I'm scared of bugs, and I'm also scared of fire...you call that tough? I always get emotional about everything even when I'm not on my period. I cry a lot and I can't help it, I try not to, even in public, but the tears come out, wether I like it, or not. It makes me feel better to cry. Some people have told me that they are 'scared' of me. Do you know how much that hurt me? I don't want my FRIENDS to be scared of me, that's terrible. Wether they were joking or not, it still hurt.

Why

You are always putting me down, and discouraging me ALL THE TIME. Telling me I can't do this and that. You never let me do anything that I want. You ALWAYS ask for my help when you need it and I help you, but when I need your help, you don't help ME. I ALWAYS have to do and learn EVERYTHING by myself. You NEVER do anything, that I want, for me. You always do things that I DON'T want you to do for me.


And then you ask me, "Why don't you have any confidence?"

Chapter 1

“No, Mama, please don’t hit me! It was an accident, Mama, please don’t hit me!” cried six year-old Hannah, with a glimmer of hope that her mother, Delia Eberhart, wouldn’t slap her. “Mama, please it-” before she could finish Delia swung her hand with full force on Hannah’s left cheek. Hannah started crying even more, tears of pain and hurt running down her cheek. She could taste the salty tears reaching her mouth.

“You better be careful next time!” threatened Delia, “this vase cost me a fortune and you know with all these economic difficulties that we will never be able to replace this!”

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                “Hannah, wake up it’s time to get ready for school!” yelled Hannah’s dad, Matthew Eberhart, from the kitchen, “it’s your first day of high school.”

                “Huh? Oh. It was just a nightmare,” I murmured to myself as I got up and went to the bathroom. I walked up to the mirror and put on black eyeliner and mascara. Then walked up to my closet and opened the sliding door and took a look at my own clothes. All my clothes were black; jeans, t-shirts, jackets, and sweaters. I took out a pair of ripped, black skinny jeans, a black “Black Veil Brides” shirt, and a black sweater and quickly put them on. Then I picked up my black backpack from the cluttered floor and went downstairs to the kitchen.

                “Good morning, Hannah!” Dad said attempting to start a conversation.

                “Hey.”

                “So, are you excited for school?”

                “No. Bye.”

                “Oh, okay, bye pumpkin, have a great first day of school,” he said and I turned around and glared at him. “Oh! That’s right; you don’t want me to call you pumpkin, sorry. Bye Hannah!” Without saying another word I took a donut off the table and headed out. I took out my iPod and blasted All Time Low as I ate my delicious, glazed donut. It was almost done by the time I got to the bus stop.

                “Oh-no.” I sighed under my breath. There they were, the “popular” group, they had to go to the same high school I was going to this year? As if three years of middle school with them wasn’t enough. What were they doing? Wearing almost the same exact clothes as one another, haven’t they ever heard of a unique personality? Please don’t notice me-

                “Oh, hey there Hannah, what you got there? Is that your breakfast? Don’t you think you’re fat enough?” giggled Marissa, the head bitch from the group. She took the donut form my hand and threw it on the ground, “Oops, my bad!” she lied as she giggled with her friends and got on the bus. I got on the bus right after them and took a seat in the front, close to the driver. They’re in high school now; they won’t be the “popular” people anymore, right?

                The bus drove up to the school and everyone got out. I made sure I was last and that I tripped Marissa on her way out. She gave me an evil look but saw the bus driver, so she kept on going without saying anything.

                I got out of the bus and went in the school. I got my schedule and went ahead to my first period class. I sat in the very back, away from the teacher, so she wouldn’t pick on me. As the students came in the class, one boy caught my attention. He was tall and had dark hair. He was wearing black jeans, converse, and a leather jacket. He looked at me, with those amazing blue eyes of his, for a second and smiled before he sat down in front of me. I quickly looked down before he noticed me blushing. 

Hey

Sorry I've been neglecting you, blog. I don't know what to post anymore...so I guess I'll just post random stories that i made up?

Things I Love (in no perticular order)

1.When boys blush
2.Gay friends
3.GOOD music
4.Boys who aren't afraid to express their feelings
5.Feeling of being loved
6.The Sound of the rain
7.RAIN!
8.Clouds
9.Moon
10.Water
11.My iPod
12.Friends (sometimes :| )
13.Family (sometimes :| )
14.Photography
15.Art in general
16.

 I will add more later

Empty

It's a once-in-a-life-time opportunity, why do you have to ruin that for me? I guess I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight. And I was very happy for the longest time, but once again that is also ruined. I hadn't cried in months, but now that I finally let out all my feelings, it feels nice. Crying is nice, you get it all out, instead of bottling it up inside you, which you should not do, I know from personal experience. I guess I'll just talk to myself more on Twitter since no one really reads my tweets...or this. I think blogger is making a mistake, I don't think anyone reads this, or else there would be comments. That would make me stop crying, if I realized that someone was reading this. And if you haven't noticed, I'm still crying as I am writing this.





Song: Carolyn by Black Veil Brides

I Don't Even Know Anymore...

I wish they would stop caring sometimes, all the questions, the worried looks. But then again if they don't care, I won't feel loved anymore and very lonely. But then again I like feeling lonely because then I can go to sleep more easily. I guess that's what I do all the time, is block out reality and drift into the dream world. It's probably unhealthy, but I don't mind, as long as it shuts off all the pain, even for only seconds. 


Song: Iloveyoumorethanyouwilleverknow by Nevershoutnever!

Jersey Spoke The Truth

I recently posted something about rumors of Jersey from the band Hey Monday being "kicked out" well he has recently posted something on his tumblr about that, here is the link ------> http://tumblr.com/xbtgjacew     


Song: Harmony by Nevershoutnever

Gay/Lesbian/Bi

I like the color blue, you like the color green. No one said that ONLY girls can like the color blue. No one said that ONLY guys can like the color green. I like guys, you like girls. Who the fuck said that girls can ONLY like guys and guys can ONLY like girls. It's the same concept! We should be able to like whoever we want, without other people being so rude about it. If someone says they like the color green, they don't get stared at or called "faggots". But if someone says they are gay/lesbian/bi that's what sometimes happens, but it shouldn't. Again it's the same concept people!





Song: Mind In The Gutter by Chris Crocker

"Emos"

Just because someone cuts themselves doesn't mean that they are emo! Lots of people cut themselves, emo or not. Emo started out as a type of music (emotional hardcore).





Song: Knives and Pens by Black Veil Brides

Jersey from Hey Monday getting 'kicked out'?

Rumors say that Jersey is being 'kicked out' of the band Hey Monday. Why?!?!? What did he ever do? And why does it feel like this is all Cassadee Pope's fault? Recent Tweets from Jersey's Twitter account hinting that he is being kicked out: "@johnsonCAB we've done a lot of growing together. Thank you for everything. I'm sure our futures will collide." "Not anymore... RT @LadyJaneontour Every couple months xo RT @omgitsjersey: Packing up my life." "See you later, bud. RT @DevinnVE I hate the word goodbye" "I'll probably cry tonight. It's been a wild ride. I am grateful for the friends I've made... And a new chapter starts.." "Sad day in my life. Make me smile Portland." Now either he is REALLY sad about Warped Tour ending or he really is getting kicked out of the band. Also at one point even in wikipedia it said former members: (Michael) Jersey Moriarty – bass, backing vocals but now it is not. Nothing has been confirmed yet but when it does I will post it up.


Song: I Don't Wanna Dance by Hey Monday

Hello

Hi people in Canada, don't act like you have no idea what I'm talking about, I know you read my blog ;) it's called blog stats :P


Song: Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

True

The rumors were true but it wasn't Vans Warped Tour's fault for the pricey water, it was the venue. They have made sure to change the rules in the other venues so you can bring your own water. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, look at the last post.


Song: Homecoming by Hey Monday

Warped Tour

Chrisrofer Drew hurt his foot on warped tour on July 13, 2010. He climed on top of a speaker then climbed on top of another, even higher speaker. Then he jumped off and at one point it was a perfect landing, but then he fell face down and started rolling and then he got up and was limping to backstage. Also there is a rumor that someone died! Apparently it was REALLY HOT in Kansas and the teenager died of dehydration. I mean four dollars for a bottle of water??? I mean it was 100+ degrees! Maybe next time they will lower the prices. Guess they learned that the hard way.


Song: Lovestruck by Breathe Electric

Christofer Drew

I have known about nevershoutnever for a while now but I never actually listened to the all of their songs. But now that I have, I am inspired!!!!! The lyrics are amazing and I love Chris! I feel bad because he had such a bad life, especially in high school. I heard he had his heart broken when he was 16. And I think that's what the song cheatercheaterbestfriendeater is about. If Chris ever reads this I want him to know that I love his music so much, don't ever stop!!!! I used to complain and stuff and I was very insecure about myself but now I've learned WHO GIVES A F*** ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?!??? As long as your happy, it's all good. And really he has CHANGED MY LIFE! I find that I am much happier nowadays. So thank you, Chris, thank you for making such amazing and wonderful music with your band! I love you.


Song: Cheatercheaterbestfriendeater by nevershoutnever

Insperation

I really wanna sketch something or someone right now...but I need inspiration . I guess if I look at some pictures taken by Alex Evans might bring me inspiration.


Song: Fer Sure by The Medic Droid

People

Okay so you really hate someone when they're not with you, however when they are with you can't hate them. Why is that? Is this just me, or is it the person? This has happened so many times and I can't help but ask why? Maybe you get guilty when they are with you and you don't hate them or they are so nice when they are with you and I really don't know. Maybe it's just me. I have no idea.


Song: Golden by Mika

Songs, Smells, And Memories

Have you ever listened to a song that you haven't listened to in a long time and end up getting memories? I bet you have, but has that happened to you with smells??? Well I have a little bit left of my old perfume and the other day I smelled it and it brought back so many memories! I was surprised! It has happened before but not as much!!! Has this ever happened to you? It was a little weird. I wasn't even sure if those memories were even true but it was an amazing experience!


Song: Bad Girl by Breathe Electric ft. Stephen Jerzak

A Glimpse At My Mind

This blog is going to be mainly me talking about random things that cross my mind and my opinions on those things and more. This blog is mainly just for me. It's not suppose to entertain people. So if you think it's boring then don't read!!! But if you happen to like it then follow :) if you wanna know about other accounts and things I have just go to my profile. Oh and just ignore my other blog I have another one just like that now on wordpress, except with another name.